Oh Mike there are times when reality is not necessarily correct, even if it's right.

The metaphorical, existential, metaphysical heft of this post is profound.

I have no idea what it's saying at all, but these are my best guesses:

"Your podgy western fingers are playing havoc with my elegant stereo."

"Why do Honda Civics speak in foreign tongues? The only cars that talk to me now are old Daihatsu Sirions."

"If you have no rocket flare what will you do when you get into trouble?"

And, most likely:

"I feel really homesick now!"